![]() Dine in a urinal at The Attendant, Fitzrovia Image: a still from our video about the Attendant. If you want to win the "But is it really art?" debate, point out that it's not even the original (which is lost), but a 1960s replica. The contentious artwork is now on show in Tate Modern, where every British passer-by makes a "taking the piss" joke. Actually, he called it "Fountain", just to be even more abstruse. Marcel Duchamp trolled the art world back in 1917 by daubing "R Mutt" on a urinal and calling it art. The phrase "No shit, Sherlock" needs a revision. Its dainty porcelain bowl carries a feculent taint. You'd be forgiven for thinking it was about the detective's toilet, after visiting the mock-facility at the Sherlock Holmes Museum. One of Arthur Conan Doyle's 60 Sherlock Holmes stories is entitled The Adventure of the Second Stain. The Ladies loos are less ornate, but women are welcome to have a peek in the Gents so long as they use discretion. Porthole art free#These gorgeous marble urinals (and matching hand basins, not pictured) are free to view any time during opening hours. In fact, many people pay John a visit just so they can pay his john a visit. John Wesley's House and Museum holds a wealth of curiosities, whether or not you're interested in the history of Methodism - the Christian denomination he helped to found in the 18th century. This surprising find comes from the banks of the now-buried River Fleet near Blackfriars. The 700 years old multikhazi shows that our ancestors had no qualms about group defecation. In 2019, Museum of London Docklands put on show this eyebrow-raising triple-toilet. The past is a different country: they do things differently there, and that includes pooping. Three-to-a-seat, Museum of London Docklands Your author, sitting on a replica, and failing to attract a bog buddy. See also: Dick Whittington's massive toilet 8. Free toilets, both Ladies and Gents, can still be found on the east side of Lincoln's Inn Fields. These early facilities were a popular spot for cruising (though nearby Temple had the distinction of housing London's first recorded glory hole). Just over the wall from the pissoir can be spied this stone plaque, which marks the site of the Inn's "Boghouse". Lincoln's Inn is a foaming cistern of toilet history. It's not quite as decorative as its Twickenham cousin, and it's never open for business, but we're still glad (if not relieved) that it's here. Well, I say "unique", but there's also this beauty in Star Yard to the east of Lincoln's Inn. Fully functioning, mind, and a truly unique venue in which to discharge one's bladder. Only instead of a magical realm of talking animals and Turkish delight, the Victorian ironmongery conceals a bank of stinking urinals. A wazz in the woods, TwickenhamĬhancing across this pistachio pissoir in York House Gardens, Twickenham is like stumbling across a gateway to Narnia. Think they couldn't look any worse? Imagine Churchill squatting over one, his bulldog face contorted with the strains of constipation. These filthy toilets date from that time their porcelain walls caked in a sooty grime that even your plumber's dodgy chemicals ("Well, I shouldn't really use this stuff, but.") could shift. Its platforms have shunned trains since 1932, but the space was briefly used as a government bunker during the second world war. London's grimiest toilets, Down Streetĭown Street is one of those abandoned tube stations on the Piccadilly line, which you can sometimes visit on TfL's Hidden London tours (or watch our video). We weren't brave enough to open our payload bay doors in the cubicles. The urinal flush is actuated at the press of a button - but one based on a second world war cockpit. This former RAF base north of Stanmore is remarkable for any number of reasons, and its gents toilets are no exception. (The nearby Royal Festival Hall has free toilets, open from 10am and well into the evening.) 3. Still, at an astounding £1 per go, you'd have to be feeling flush. A gold-anodised aluminium roof collects rainwater for the cisterns, while each of the cubicles is spacious, well-maintained and heavy on union jackery (sadly, not the toilet paper). The facility was opened in 2012 as one of the more unusual baubles of the Diamond Jubilee. London's most patriotic shit can be exuded into the so-called Jubiloos near the London Eye. ![]()
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